2 days of work left

Well today was my last Wednesday at work for awhile... I have been looking forward to my time off and thinking about all the fun things people that don't work get to do, the sad part is I have this HUGE belly that is going to join me in these plans.

The last time I had this much time off was the summer after I graduated from college... finding a job is not the easiest or most fun task I have ever been given but my day entailed sleeping in, hanging out with my friends, going out drinking and tanning. This is not even going to be close to the same but I am hoping it is just as pleasant, minus the several trips to my midwife appointments and faced with the task of getting this alien out of my body and into the very excited arms of everyone (including myself).

At work my co-workers are just so excited for Joe and I, they have even planned a shower/potluck for Friday my last day. It is going to be great but a little bitter sweet because I know when I return things will be different again... it was announced our Manager is leaving, our consultant has been gone for over a month and there will be new hires with possible co-workers moving on to different things. The evolution of these changes are unstoppable but hard to know that these changes will happen without me around to adjust. It is just so strange and when you think about being a working women they never talk about the way your career freezes and you are just stuck in the now because there is so much unknown in having a baby.

I was talking with a co-worker about an opening and that there was a comment that people on our team didn't apply again... after the first posting received a huge response... I said that after my interview and advisement that I was still too green and the baby on board I realized that the role is just not a good fit for me. It is a high energy, solve peoples made up problems and get yelled at daily. I decided I didn't have the energy to throw myself into that role because I would like to be a good mom long before a successful career women. Plus there are other openings I feel I would be better at and would like to work towards.

Well Joe is at his dad's working on stuff for our kitchen so I better do something semi productive with my evening

Day 88 on the Futon

Well it has been awhile and so much has happened and not happened. We our still out of our home and living in my parents basement, the baby is now about 3 weeks out and I am in my final week of work. We have spent about the last 85 days fighting and expressing our disappointment of the remodel job of our home since the fire 88 days ago. We finally talked with the right person and got the owner of the restoration company out to our home to check up on the 'Project Manager' and based on that we are now moving backwards again, which is fine because the work needs to be done correctly but this takes time out of my limited nesting period. I still have 3 days of work left and hopefully it will go by fast but what an I going to do after that. I am also excited to move home and start living a more normal life...When I finally move out several years ago it never crossed my mind I would be back but everyone has adjusted and we have got to know all the kids again. I know Joe would never admit it but he knows his in-laws better then he ever thought he would and will cherish these strange times.

I would have to say this has been a wild roller coaster of emotions and frustrations. The past almost 9 months started out with fear and disbelief, then turned the corner to excitement and acceptance, which was quickly crushed by the horror of watching our house/hard work burn... Although they classified this as a small fire it seems far from that... this has stolen my energy, excitement and focus on the joys of bring a child into the world. I would say after everything I have finally made peace with being a mom and that we may not have a home to bring our bundle of joy too but the baby will never know the difference.

As everyone has said 'at least you have a good story to your kid when it grows up' the sad thing is I didn't want another story and this kid is going to be anything but normal base on these events... I just really hope it doesn't come out anxious, stressed out and pissed off at the world.

45 days...

You can clearly tell I spend all day looking at a calender. I have a lot of count downs and ups. 45 days is how long we have been staying at my parents house during the reconstruction of our home, this project is not only frustrating but I can't wait to get these men out of my life FOREVER! Plus they don't realized that being displaced from your home for extended period of time does not make you friendlier or easier to work with because at this point being a pain in the ass is a lot more rewarding and they receive the pent up anger that is continuing to build... Suck it Trebek!!!

Oh week 29...

So I have just wrapped up my 28th week of being pregnant... Scary and according to 'The Bump' I have 77 days until this little person is going to make it entrance into the world.. I hope this baby knows what it is in for : ) However I am glad this week is over the 3 hour GTT test is behind me and even though I don't know the results I really don't care... If I failed it wouldn't surprise me a bit it just seem how thing have been going and we have being dealing with all sorts of crap so why not that too, but still crossing my fingers for negative. I also managed to pick up a head clod which has been super awesome... my nose hurts so bad and I have been waking up at 5:50 a.m. to start my day because I am so over trying to sleep and poor Joe has to sleep with me... up half the night blowing, coughing, whining and all he wants is a goodnight sleep. I am feeling better today and ready to face my day... I did a ton of Christmas shopping yesterday but I feel that I am not quite done but I still have about 5 more days so we will see. Lucky for me I have only 3 day work week and then it is party time. Lucky for us one party is just a flight of stair away : ) Hopefully the baby will be in a kicking mood this weekend so other people can enjoy the excitement of there first kick of many from this baby... Joe has managed to feel it a couple times. I am not sure he loves it but he needs to know this thing has got a mind of its own and he doesn't have to put up with the baby fighting his underwear band because it is rolled funny. Signing off, Huge I mean Heidi :)

Christmas Spirt... what is that!?!

So as the next holiday approaches I am struggling to be excited... We had plans this year of being in our home and celebrating Christmas, Joe, Morgan, bun in the oven and I. I was getting excited and overwhelmed with decorating the house and starting our traditions... However on that horrible Nov. 20 evening our plans change with some disappointment and I like talking about this less then talking about our wedding plans. I am just one of those people who avoid and refuses to deal with stressful topics. This distraction makes the holiday seem so unexciting and unimportant... I am actually all for skipping Christmas all together but that is not an option but I can put it off as long as possible, which is unlike Heidi... I think I have my sister almost freaked out because I am the planner and she is the procrastinator. However thanks to the mass about of snow no true Christmas shopping happened. So I have about 5 days to get inspired and do all my shopping in one weekend, I have a few ideas of what to get some of our family... it is more useful the fun but living with my parents and the kids makes it easier to see what might be nice to have. The nephews is another story because what do you get little wild boys... Nerf guns... Can 1 year old shoot them? LOL!!! Well here's hoping to a great week minus my Thursday 3 hr GTT test and a weekend that doesn't make me wonder why I even get out of bed.

28 weeks and counting...

Well 28 weeks later and feeling bigger then ever but it is getting closer everyday. 'The bump' website reminded me it is about 84 days before we get to meet this little person... Scary!! I feel like we have so much to do but yet nothing to do being The Raymond refugees in my parents basement. I think the main goal is not to kill one another and find the humor in everything, however I feel like every weekend ends in disappointment. This weekend a drunk husband, 16.5 inches of snow and getting lost picking up said husband during the first 4-8 inches. Oh and topped off with a broken turn signal that just continues clicking faster then when the blinker is on. I have had this issue once before but it is even more annoying this time.

Morgan (the dog) has been enjoying the snow with Sammie (my parents Newfoundland) they run and wrestle in the snow like crazies... it is super cute. However yesterday Morgan was chewing on something in the yard and annoyed that Sammie was trying to fight her. I walked out to grab what she had to bring it in. It ended up being a white mini watering can. I handed her it in side and she grabbed by the handle and ran around trying to find a nice place to chew on it. Clearly it will not be doing much watering ever again... LOL! I think she doesn't mind the new home as she runs down half the stairs and looks to see what is going on. Based on this she decides if she should come down the rest or head back up for trouble.




Our home is looking pretty sad... they have ripped out our gorgeous hardwood floors and we finally received confirmation they are going to pull off the entire roof, trusses and all so it will be interesting to see how that goes will all the snow and mother nature going on in MN.

Cookie day 2010

Well I have survived another cookie day since I met my husband. This is basically a day we get together with my husbands mom, grandma, step-sister and some times sister to spend all day baking Christmas cookies. This year we made 18 different kinds of cookies, this year I was not able to join in on the mass amounts of adult beverages (wine and captain, diets) which was fine except the last few weeks all I have been thinking about how good it would feel to escape my life for one evening and just get ridiculously drunk, minus the hangover and chance of giving my child fetal alcohol syndrome... clearly I haven't lost it yet as I know this sound good in my mind but really we all know I would never. Being 27 weeks pregnant made the day just drag on and from being on my feet all day, to my stomach being so hard I could bounce a quarter off of it I am surprised I survived. now I am working on getting in the Christmas spirit even though I am not sure why anymore... I think I am going to lobby for Christmas in July maybe then it will turn out the way we plan.