"Stop making that noise!"

This is something said often. My sweet little girl can make a noise so horrible it could make anyone lose there mind. It starts in the morning with the diaper change and then during the wrestling match, others would call getting dressed. Then every time you take away something she can't have... Then nap time (Finally) and then it continues until bed time. It seems to get worse when she is tired and it makes me say things to her like 'stop making that noise' or 'I can't think while you make that noise.' I feel like a bad mom until other people start saying the same things. I have been told and continue to remind myself that some day she will grow out of this. Until then I would say that riding in the car with Abby is as dangerous as texting while driving some times... AND PLEASE STOP MAKING THAT NOISE!!!

Haven't been here in awhile...

Life has been crazy and not sure where to start... first I GOT A NEW JOB! Oh and I love it... The babe is now 11 months with a lot of opinions and walking everywhere. She can tell me what a monkey says and how big she is... it is amazing how you go from enjoying that baby you bring home with you to fighting over changing that stinky diaper she is sitting in. She has officially learned how to work over my touch screen phone and I am excited to get a new one in a few months. Morgan (our dog)has officially gained anywhere from 5-10 lbs since the babe started eating table food. We love and hate this. Joe is enjoying fatherhood by teaching Abby how to be tough and that scary things are funny... well only if your not tired. I have been focusing on running and so far it has been going good. It takes time away from my family but it is worth it and I am determined to not buy all new clothes.

The 10th Anniversary

9/11/01... Started out like any other day here in MN. I woke up the same time I did everyday to get to school by 7 a.m. I liked to be early get to my gym locker and my school locker with a few minutes to chat with friends. It was in pre-calc with Mr. Boone, I was taking a dreaded quiz, the loud speaking came on. Our Principal came on advising us that the Twin Towers had been hit by planes. He was unsure of the detail but with a heavy heart was aware of the terror the people of NY were feeling. Mr. Boone went on to teach his lesson plan of the day, refusing to let us watch history unfold before our eyes. The day continued on and due to me not taking a history classes I did not get to see history unfold... I then had to go to cross country practice and when I got home all I wanted to do was catch up on all the things I had missed and wondered about. As the evening dragged on the more a realized that this was a tragic thing that happened to so many innocent people and although tomorrow marks the 10 year anniversary since this has happened, we have all experienced so much change in our everyday lives. If we want to fly we have to have a full body scan or pat down... even the babies?! We fear people that are walking down the street, afraid to work in tall buildings and a typically beautiful fall day 9/11.

However in these 10 years we have also learned a lot about America... we all believe in something that is bigger then us and that fear can only hold us back as long as we let it. To all the families that lost someone I am truly sorry for your loss... it was unfair and never should have happened. Also to all those who helped rescue others that day you were braver then most will be in there entire lifetime!!

AHHH I have to go to work again tomorrow

I am not looking forward to this, mainly because I feel like the 'yes girl' and the 'oh no I am not busy at all' The truth is I am so busy I could cry... I have not only about 30 emails to respond to but also 150+ case to review. We are fancy and each case is time for 5 minutes each... let just say I NEVER get through this much work. I feel really bad about this and I snapped today. I went to our acting manager and new manager and said I can't continue too hand hold case and get an application on Monday late afternoon and have a client scheduled to complete an exam by Thursday or Friday in the morning when everyone is hoping to schedule because fasting is no fun especially when your awake...WHATEVER. So they talk with the big man and tell me what the one thing I don't want to hear... Talk to the one person who everyone loves (minus me and a bunch of other people). Anyway she is worthless and pretty much nothing is going to change because why create waves. However she doesn't give two shits about me so she wouldn't even say this to my face. Today was so horrible I almost walked out, I have had too much this week. It is really sad when you talk with someone on the phone and say you sound beat down and get an email about what the hell is going on with your work as it has spiked to the point of unbelievable. The sad part is I HAVE TO GO BACK... we are also doing an ice breaker tomorrow in our team meeting... I was suppose to send 2 truths and a lie... I joked with a couple people my lie would be I am a really nice caring person....HAHAHAHAHAHA. On the plus side I went to Target to de-stress because lets be honest the captain diets were not going to help this mood. The sad thing is Target didn't help but Abby enjoyed it so much she fell asleep. The thing I do know is I have my mid-year review on Friday and at this point I am not sure I am going to say because the only things that come to my mind might get me a box and escorted walk to the door :(

It's August

I can't believe it is already August... My baby is now 5 months and the personality on that one is hard to believe. She is leaving little bruises on my arms, is now pulling my hair and slaps. I know that she is learning how to feel different things and some of if is nervous energy she needs to release it but as I tell her 'that is ouchie too the mama' and she smiles because lets be honest it is kind of funny... but seriously if she starts biting I am done!

She has also started eating baby food... the puffs, rice cereal and for all those bad parents out there ice cream. I lived on it while pregnant so why not... I have problems with rules... especially when it comes to frozen treats. I will admit I have tried everything I feed my baby... I am a firm believer if you wouldn't eat it how could you feed your child it. Joe finds it strange and has tried nothing. I don't think he realize it is not that bad but not that great either. I think we have both decided that being a parent is not an easy task but rewarding in so many ways.

We have changed so much but in so many ways are the same... I know that our little angel just showed up one June night unplanned and unannounced but I will keep her and love her forever.

P.S. here is a cute picture of my beach babe <3 Heidi

Hanging stuff on the wall

So I had a long weekend off with and feeling pretty motivated... I clean the entire upstairs of the house. I battled the dog hair, gave the dog a bath, cleaned the bathroom and more. I even talked Joe into helping me hang some pictures up. Lets just say our home is under decorated mainly because I am slightly cheap and I want something that is prefect and will hang there for many, many years. I have a total of 7 pictures hanging in our 3 bed, 1 3/4 bath with a finished basement home. On average I hang about 1-2 things on the wall every 2 months.















This isn't even Joe's pet peeve we moved in Jan. 2010 and we old have window treatments in the bathroom and our bed room and that happened when we moved back in March 2011... my justification is that all the neighbors have there shades pulled so no one sees us any way : ) To be honest I would rather get some nice area rugs for the rooms long before we block out all the natural light. P.S. Our bed room not photographed due to a baby sleeping.

Here is to more motivation and the future pictures hung on our wall, consider yourself lucky and adios neighbors it was good while it lasted :)

Time for work tomorrow but feeling refreshed <3 Heidi

Days off... nothing better then this

So I have a 4 day weekend and loving it. I not only get a chance to reconnect with my baby but accomplish some things around the house. However it brings up memories I would just assume repress. The smell of a clean house is just something every person loves and I enjoy when Joe cleans the house for me. Today I believe is the first time I have cleaned the house floors in all since we moved back in. The smell of Murphy's oil after a good swiffering of all the dog hair you could ever image. This is all to familiar of the day our house was on fire. It was a Saturday I spent all day cleaning the house while Joe was at his dad's. The sun was shining in the window and the dog hair was properly battled. That evening we decided to have Jet's Pizza (it is this ridiculous rich pizza with Turbo crust). It was carry out so Joe, Morgan (the dog) and I got in the car. We ate and I was laying on the cough reading Dr. Bradly's book on natural child birth. Joe had just opened a beer and walked down stairs to play his game for a little while. A few minutes later my oldest brother called asking Life Insurance exam questions about Nicotine. I was standing in the Kitchen and the breaker popped for some reason... think nothing of this yelled down to Joe to click it back on. After a few clicks back and forth with nothing he came up stairs. We both looked into the living room where our fire place was radiating heat and lighting the room we looked up. The plastic sconce around the light was melting. Still on the phone told Joe to grab the fire extinguisher, he popped a hole in the sconce and I though great we are going to have to fix that, then we walked out the side door where black smoke was pouring out of our roof. At this point a told my brother I had to go because our house was on fire. Joe popped up into the attic to spray the rest of the extinguisher on the fire. I am standing below asking if I need to call 911... he comes down and doesn't say anything... I finally called a little freaked out. I manage to grab my purse, net book and keys on the way out. The rest of the night seems like a blur as I sit in my car with the dog watching flames coming out of our house.

So this day off is feeling like a repeat of that day... Maybe this is why I don't clean the house any more... which doesn't seem that bad because I could be a major hoarder due to this trauma.

This also reminds me of a day I went to Hallmark for a religious gift and ran into a woman who was admiring My baby girl and talking about how her daughter just graduated from High School and was starting paramedic school... she was telling me how it had been a hard year for them as to date it had been a year since their home was struck by lighting and they lost most everything. I felt her pain and said we had something equally traumatic happen. We didn't lose everything but is an un-describable pain that you will carry with you the rest of your life.

Well now that I have been Debbie downer it is time to get up and put away the laundry. Keep Strong and Carry On! Remember Life is not easy but if it was what fun would it be :)